Psst! Hey Love. No, not your phone. It’s me, your liver!
First, I’d like to thank you from the deepest of my portal vein for taking care of yourself throughout the year. I really appreciate you’ve been on top of your fruits and veggies, while going easy on red meat and fried foods, and you don’t smoke. And I’m loving what you’ve been doing with your workout routine.
I know it has been a long, tough year. And as the final stretch approaches, as your brain is pulling you to party moods, please, for the love of all the platelets and plasma I produce, don’t take this out on me by over-indulging in alcohol.
I do my best to keep out that ethanol before it hits the bloodstream (whether it’s wine, beer, or even a holiday margarita), and I know you kinda like that warm, fuzzy, and dare I say, flirty feeling.
But honestly, it’s really overwhelming for me. I’M SO TIRED! I can’t always keep up with you all night and then get blamed when you’re tired with headaches and diarrhea the following day.
Do you have any idea how crappy it is for me??
I’ve got a lot going on. I’m keeping some 500+ odd jobs going all at once: I help you digest food with enzymes, sort out the waste from the blood in your gut, and break down medications.
And I do a lot of other specialized jobs, too! Like producing albumin (the protein that keeps all the fluid in your blood vessels).
Yeah, bet you just thought it just existed in there on its own. Ooh, no, that’s all me.
So, I don’t ask for much this season. But I’m begging you, for the save of our survival, please please don’t go too hard. If you must drink, keep it to one or two, maybe three. And spread it out over a couple hours with lots of food and water in between. That’ll mean so much to me, really.
Oh, and, if you’re worried about getting a headache later, don’t take Tylenol because I can’t handle that on top of the booze. Instead, take Advil or some other ibuprofen.
And if you really have to drink at every holiday party, please consider taking a break for a month?
Though I don’t need a full month to recover from your debauchery, I’d love it if you could try to break some of your drinking habits. Because I know you can have even more fun without it (BOOZE) if only you can choose to.